Squatchspeare in Love
Together we shall scale the tallest trees
To breed among the Redwoods in the rain.
We’ll scrabble up the steepest granite screes
And make our beds in leaves where we have lain.
When hunkering in snow-dens that we share,
With warmth like ours, we don’t need underwear!
I live to contemplate your tawny hair–
Its mats arranged exquisitely with care!
When I’m out hunting rabbits in the glen,
You stay behind to nest in groves of sage–
Your musk attracting mobs of other men
Whose growls and wood-knocks aggravate my rage!
Your wry smile stained with huckleberry wine
Says, “Take a number, hot stuff, get in line…”
Song of Squatchaway
I’ve followed in your footsteps with great care:
Their prints are not exactly hard to spy,
Especially when you leave tufts of hair
In clumps among the trees seven feet high.
A wiry, manly form of brown and black
And musk of eau de skunk and dead raccoon,
I find your silhouette simple to track
Through underbrush beneath the silver moon.
If I were human, I would have the clout
To demonstrate I know just what I’m doing!
With photo proof, I would allay all doubt
That you are real–a guy who’s worth pursuing!
But soft! What snapping sound breaks nigh yon crag?
It’s tree-branch-speak for, “Tiny wants a shag!”