Prayer to My Vacuum Cleaner

With the holidays and an impending visit from my mother fast approaching, I’ve been a little wound-up about cleaning house – which has inspired my tendency to wax hyperbolic and – wait for it – another sonnet…

Oh, sucker of dust mites, dog hair, mold spores
And dried cat barf – please rescue me from deep
And vile obscenity that clogs my pores,
Distracts me from my purpose, spoils my sleep

And adds insult to injured dignity…
Beseeching you is now my sole recourse!
Forgive me for my mean delinquency!
Unwind your hose! Exert extracting force

To render my abode endurable!
I long to hear salvation’s droning wail
Portend a circumstance that’s preferable,
While filth is drawn away as you inhale

My shame, my pride – like Jonah’s giant whale consumed
A shirking fool no worse than I, nor further doomed.

Johna's Whale Vacuum Courtesy of Google Images

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